My brain jumps from thought to thought like a frog.
One minute, I’m thinking about what I’ll have for dinner
the next, I’m paralyzed with fear as I run through
every single horrible outcome
to every single situation.
There’s no off switch (except sleep
but you can’t sleep all the time)
and no drowning out the fears
that stick to you like burrs off trees.
I ask myself when this’ll all be over
knowing there’s no way out
of the anxiety cave I’ve trapped myself in.
I ask myself when you’ll come back.
I fear the answer is never.
I ask myself what I can do to help
and there is no answer.
I’m left pulling at ropes
with nothing on the other side.
When I reach out and nothing’s there,
I hope my oxygen tank is full
because I’ve just reached maximum depth
only to find myself sinking deeper.
