I feel like I’m apart
of some secret club.
Some organization
with an official handshake
and a contract you can’t talk about,
binding me to the thoughts and feelings
inside my head.
I thought I knew everything
I needed to know
about you.
How you’re kind
and considerate
and caring
and smart.
But now I’m drowning
in a pool of information
I don’t know what to do with
or, better yet,
can’t do anything with.
I’m just sitting and feeling my heartbeat
getting slower and slower,
my alveoli collapsing
with each passing breath.
You said I was going
to be okay.
Yet here I am,
a secret club,
a contract I didn’t know I signed,
and a heartbeat getting
slower and slower
as time clicks onward.
