I’m The Unavoidable Obstacle in Mario Kart You Hate

Our lips kiss in my head

full of fog.

I’m tired and dizzy

and quite frankly, annoyed

that you keep

living in my head

when I need to be focused.

When I need to be paying attention

you and your laugh and your witty jokes

find a way to snake into my head

and into my heart.

In my imagination,

your lips feel soft and warm.

I crave your touch

like a child craves cookies,

always wanting more and more

until nothing is left.

Until the world has fallen away

and all that’s guiding us

is the light in our souls

and the music in our hearts.

Yet my chest tightens

as the fog around me gets

higher and higher

and suddenly I can’t see

anything around me,

trapped in a mess of haze

and grey

and imagined kisses

I know will never exist

no matter how much

I will them into my conscious.

I was never like other girls

who have the confidence to kiss guys

or date at fourteen

or have sex at eighteen

or anything else

confident girls do because

I’m a flower in the way of the path

so everyone keeps stepping on it.

I’m an aluminum can

in the middle of the road

so everyone keeps driving over it.

I’m the unavoidable obstacle

in Mario Kart you keep not missing,

making you want to throw your controller

at your TV.

I’m fragile and broken

and sad.

So confidence?

Confidence was never

something I had.

So I’ll play your laugh

in my head like a laugh track

on a comedy show.

I’ll see your smile in my mind,

holding onto it like a jar of fireflies.

I’ll imagine your lips on mine,

soft and warm and ever so slightly full of alcohol

and it’ll be the you-est thing you could possibly do

and I’ll love it

just as much

as I love you.

I’m a young aspiring writer trying to figure out life. (She/her)

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