You give away your soul
like I give away my heart.
I crush your bones
as I consume the bread
that’s supposed to be your body.
Doesn’t it hurt?
Constantly giving yourself away
to people who don’t even know you?
I drink the wine
that’s supposed to be your blood.
How do you do it?
How do you give
and give
and give
away
and not feel the pain?
The intestines twisting like vines off trees,
heart clattering inside your throat
leaving you unable to breathe,
bones crushing and grinding into finely tuned powder
feeling?
The suffering of knowing
there will never be something about you
that is truly yours
because you gave everything away
before you could define it for yourself?
How does it feel
to sacrifice your soul
person after person after person
crushing your bones,
depriving you of blood
until nothing is left
except an empty plate
and your shattered soul?
I watch as you bleed out in front of me.
I want to help you.
Tell you you are worth so much more
than sacrificing yourself
for the sake of other people.
Tell you you don’t need to have a heart shaped hole
where your heart should be.
Tell you you are allowed to breathe
the same air I do.
But I recognize that maybe,
this is what you wanted for yourself.
That maybe,
sacrificing yourself is your way
of showing others that you care.
That maybe,
you’re just a character in a fiction story
that others believe is real life.
So I crush your bones
in the bread I eat.
Suck you dry of blood,
leave you lightheaded,
in the wine I drink
and turn around to go back to my seat.
As I do, I look up at your statue
looming over me and whisper
“why do you do it?”
The look in your eyes says
“you give away your heart
like I give away my soul,
in tiny increments
to everyone you meet.
I recognize that maybe,
sacrificing yourself is your way
of showing others that you care
but you’re allowed to breathe
the same air I do.
Breathe before you disintegrate.
Put your heart back inside your heart shaped hole
and tell yourself,
you are worth so much more
than sacrificing yourself
for the sake of other people.
Go out there and define who you truly are.”
