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Ever wonder what being in love feels like? That ever growing weight in your chest you can’t get rid of. The smiles you get when you think of them, bright and full of happiness. The feeling like when you’re around them, you can do anything. You can be your true self as long as they’re there alongside you.

This book explores those feelings and more. Get ready to dive into your deepest crushes, your forbidden feelings, and explore love and sexuality as one whole entity.

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There are days where I dress it up.

Make it look all pretty.

Put it in a dress,

slap some makeup on it

and say

“Look at my anxiety!

Isn’t she beautiful?”

And there are some days where

I hate it.

Everything about it.

It’s yellow skin,


I told my professor

I found him triggering.

Laying there in the dirt,

rope around his neck,

facial features perfectly preserved

in the bog they found him in,

making him look more alive

than dead.

She said of course he was triggering.

All humans fear death.

But that wasn’t necessarily

Love is a shapeshifter,

showing up when you least expect.

In the most randomest of places.

At the most inconvenient time.

Love is the person

who’s always late to the party,

leaving you waiting around for hours

as your food gets colder and colder.

Love is the sun on a…

Holding my hand,

his hand felt huge in mine

yet somehow still soft.

No sparks

or fireworks

or stomachs turning

or blood rushing.

Just a simple action.

A simple gesture

of affection.

No strings attached.

No boxes left unopen.

Nothing left to rot out overnight.

Just him and me and

A love so consuming

I’ve forgotten what reality looks like

and only know you.

Only see your long blonde hair flowing in the wind.

Only hear your guitar strings hum their sweet melodies.

Only feel like I can’t breathe,

all the air escaping my lungs

and crushing my skull


Show me your heart

as you would your skin.

Expose your insides.

Expel yourself to the world.

You’re beautiful.

The world deserves to know it.

To see it

like I do.

To see your nerve impulses firing

every millisecond.

To see your intestines wind and bend.

To see your lungs breathe,

little alveoli collapsing and expanding

with each passing breath.

To see your heart pumping,

keeping you alive

as time clicks onward.

The world deserves to see you

like I do,

radiant, confident, glowing.

Take a chance!

Show me your heart

as you would your skin.

Expose your insides.

Expel yourself to the world.

You’re beautiful.

You deserve to embrace it.

Laying on a fleece blanket

at the foot of a bed,

curled up in an airplane blanket,

wishing you were here.

Here to hold me tight.

Stroke my hair,

kiss me good night.

Feel your warmth

on my skin.

Set me on fire

in the best way possible.

My head in the crook

of your neck.

Your arms wrapped

around my body that’s

pressed against yours.

Your hair falling

into my face.

The night falling away

as we breathe the same air


so in sync

like clocks set to the same time,

always to click onward together

into the future.

Anxiety is like a dirty pond.

Its surface a dark brown.

The dirt and rock and shit sticking to your feet

causing your skin to concave in on itself;

Bugs crawling up your back.

You want to get out

and you recognize that you could easily

just turn around


Keyboards clacking

like piano keys.

Small whispers

of a world yet to be explored.

He sits, writing,

leaving the world we both know behind

and creating a better one.

A one where monsters run wild and free.

Where humans can speak to birds.

Where anyone can be

whoever they want to be!

From an orc

to an elf

to anything in between.

He sits there, writing away.

His hair in his face

from the wind blowing outside.

Sight obstructed as rain

drizzles down his computer screen

and onto his glasses.

Yet he stays determined,

his keyboard clacking

as his fingers dance amoungst letters,

creating new melodies

for the world we left behind.

He sits, writing the world we both know


creating a better future.


I’m a young aspiring writer trying to figure out life. (She/her)

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